5 Things NOT to Tell Your Mom You Did in Jackson Hole

Photo by Spencer Long

Your mom worries about you. You might be 40 years old, but to your mom, you’ll always be 8. And if your mom does recognize that you’ve been an adult for over 20 years, when you tell her you did these things on your last guys trip to Jackson Hole, she’ll tell you to act your age.

1. Ski Corbet’s Couloir

Corbet’s Couloir is Jackson Hole’s most recognizable ski run. The trail map says it’s a double black diamond, but that doesn’t do it justice. At the top, you get to decide whether to take a vertical drop of 15 or 50 feet before making turns on a 40 degree slope between massive rock walls. During the 2010/2011 ski season, when the resort received 723 inches of snow, the white stuff piled up deep enough to cut the initial drop down to a less intimidating size. That year, 5 year olds were dropping in with no hesitation. Most years, it’s a different story. Personally, I’ll wait for the next record year and join the kindergarten crew in order to cross this ski run off my bucket list.

This is your decision point; photo by Spencer Long.

2. Ski With Locals

Locals are the guys with bushy beards wearing back packs with shovels strapped to the outside. They’ve got those packs for one of two reasons, and your mom wouldn’t approve of either one. One option is that they’re headed out of bounds through one of Jackson Hole’s many backcountry gates. The pack contains avalanche safety gear so they don’t die out there. The other option is that they’re staying inbounds and the pack is full of beer. The shovel is so they can bury a twelve pack in the woods where it will stay cold until they need to make a hydration stop. Genius. No $9 resort beers for those guys.

3. Hold a Sidewalk Downhill

The condo area of Teton Village has a convenient shuttle service to take you to and from the main base area. But that’s for wusses. Wyoming has notoriously poor winter road maintenance, allowing real men to finish their day by skiing straight past the bottom of the trail, onto the sidewalk, and right to the door of their condo. On a warm day, you might have to do some pond skimming to cross the intersections. That’s not how your mom taught you to cross the street when you were little.

4. Take a Shot Ski

For those who don’t know, a shot ski is an old ski with several shot glasses glued to the top. At the Mangy Moose, they’ve got a twin tipped four shot model and enough patrons that it’s almost always in use. A word of warning to those of lesser stature: if you’re the only short guy in your group, while your tall friends take the shot fine, you might end up with tequila running down your forehead. If that’s a concern, you better ask the girls at the next table to do the shot ski with you. They look more your height.

5. Crash the Hot Tub at Hotel Terra

If you’re lucky, the girls who joined you for a shot ski are staying at the Hotel Terra and they invite you to join them in the hot tub. If you’re smart, you always ski with a bathing suit under your snow pants for just this occasion. (What? You’ve never thought of that? Amateur.) The Hotel Terra is located directly across the courtyard from the Mangy Moose. Their outdoor hot tub steaming six floors above the snow looks extremely inviting after a hard day on one of the country’s best mountains. Check it out for your next trip.

- Ethan Young, Software Developer

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3 Responses to 5 Things NOT to Tell Your Mom You Did in Jackson Hole

  1. Kristin says:

    FIRST COMMENT! woo

  2. Bill Dickson says:

    My wife Karyn and I were out there in March 2009.It was awesome! Snowed every day. We skied with a local. Joyce Batson (The Mad Hatter of Jackson Hole). Right now my newly wed daughter and my new son-in-law (Jess and Joe) are following up their mountaintop wedding here in NH w/a honeymoon in Jackson Hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. Berb says:

    Do not send this site to your Mom as too much information. . God help me! If you haven’t guessed I am one of those dreaded worry wort Moms. Feel lucky if your Mom worries. You honestly would be sad if she didn’t. TRY to be safe out there.

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